vulnerability theory

There's this urge to simply click and say

'' Hello there,
How are you? I know you're fine and all but seriously how are you? ''

Of course I dont see myself doing that anytime soon. There's this research regarding connection, happiness and vulnerability, with conclusion of, the more you open up to your vulnerability, the more you gain. With that, it allow sadness to come in, but also allow happiness. By suppressing vulnerability, you did not gain happiness nor sadness, so you become desperate to search for feeling somewhere somehow.  

I guess the controlling freak and women nature who like to play it safe nature inside, lead me to choose, well..

passed

masyallah

subahanallah
alhamdullilah
allahuakbar

I cannot contain myself today. Too many happy things. Initially there's some delay, my daily morning stress longing for more time to sleep, and thinking about fussy and stress MO in respi ward, urghhhhh. BUT,  I choose to be happy. I choose to force myself to think all nice thing about my MO's, choose to take my winner position, choose to own the day.

Despite the palpitations, my CBD with pediatrics nephrology consultant went well. I wanted to run away, to change my topic, what on earth was I thinking choosing Diabetic ketoacidosis and Type 1 Diabetes mellitus??? when other choosed pneumonia, simple febrile fit, something that's more... simple. Alhamdullilah DM was the right choice for me.

CBD with her was nice. I love it when i can discuss the case without feeling intimidated or frozen by 'cuak-ness'  another plus point is i get to discuss case that was not on my CBD, case that somehow is very close to me, a baby with haemolytic uremic syndrome.

Which bring me to another happy peak for today, that baby was discharge! masyallah. I must admit, the first early day she's in ward, i thought we're going to loss her, very bad prognosis, with mortality rate as high as 75% . Plasmapheresis did her good. Had to kiss her pale snowy white cheek before we're separated.

Must write about her case fully  later. For the mean time, i need to find a way to solve this un-resolve feeling since moscow days.

Take care.