at this moment i felt guilty mostly.ok not exactly. last night i was in MAI for usrah..and i dont think i gave precise and compact usrah and information. it was a bit all over the place. i cant stand it looking at their fuddled face!intoxicated...yes intoxicated with information that they just heard.my imprecise information. telling people about isla.....its hard. hah what am i saying.obviously!
im afraid that i will tell them the not-so-right as it suppose.
im afraid that i will make them confuse
im afraid that i will give them bad impression
im afraid that i will scare them
im afraid that i will traumatize them with dagger of truth!
im afraid that i will be ask by God in the day of judgment what have i done..
im afraid that i don't practice what im preaching(see al saff:1-2)
im afraid that i don't have the right niat and all i get is tired.
im afraid that i don't peform in study and make dakwah as an excuse
im afraid that ....ah there is so much that im afraid of..
but does that give me an excuse not to go out there and spreading things that i know.
NO it doesnt.
does that absolve me from being dynamic and try to shift the wrong paradigm of many?
NO it doesnt
does that spare me from being the player in a play instead of a merely audience?
NO it doesnt
i was program to do my job. KHALIFAH AND IBADAH as all of us know.im just playing my short scene in this lengthy film of life. my Director know it best right. so i should just play my part right.
what betide if i refuse?
simply, i can keep on lazying my lazy ass on the couch and keep on questioning why do i have to play this role. acting like a diva,demanding for this and that.(Did you know that when mariah carey have a concert for charity somewhere in africa,read desert ok!and she demand for fully air-conditioned waiting room,with doezenS of red roses etc ect...alice in wonderland queen do demand for red roses too instead of white one but at least she is a QUEEN)oh apa kaitan nya?
back to director and actress thingy. what will mr director do?
"you dont want to do this huh?fine... no salary for you,off you go..there're so many people out there who eager to take part in this play"
get it?
no?haishhh
if im not doing this.if you are not doing this. if your friend is not doing this. (this= spreading the truth, shifting the wrong paradigm) then All Mighty Allah will simply replace you! it is very easy for Him to do this. He doesnt need you. YOU NEED ALLAH. tarbiyah and dakwah doesnt need you. YOU NEED TARBIYAH AND DAKWAH.
if you still feeling reluctant about it.or feels like you are not for this usrah2 kepala2 thingy. remember He will replace you with others. and do you know how rugi and teruk is that?
in this world,as an actress if mr director fired you, you have no salary. you SUFFER.but at least you can still sell nasik lemak under manggo tree if you have some saving.you can make a life thou not as rich as a diva life.
but in world of akhirat where your source of income is from previous world deeds and from the love of Allah. will you still be able to make a life then? NO. YOU DOOMED FOREVER.
nauzubillah!
so azmin...you do wrong..you can work on it...at least you still have time and given a chance to change right...ameen.
2 comments:
cut!! *its the milo boy(?? gender confusion), Iman sitting on the director chair pretending to be one*
hey its my bloq.im the director..get off from my chair you pembancuh air sirap...ok2 kasi chance,penulis skrip 'kami' :)
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